CHARGE.

Today was payday, and as always I checked my banking account online to make sure the transaction had cleared. It seems someone has acquired my banking information and started on a shopping spree sometime late Monday, as my current balance was approximately -$4,600.

Among the various charges the intrepid thief has racked up in the past 30 hours or so:

$348.26 to Lord & Taylor Online, an apparel retailer. I've checked out their website; at least someone has some taste.

$232.15 spent online at Estee Lauder. Presumably that amount will qualify for a free gift basket of some sort. Once you've got all those cosmetics, you'll need something to carry them around in... Hermes of Paris (famous maker of handbags) must have a suitable choice for $192.01.

Not content with only Lord & Taylor's offerings, another $110.98 was spent at G&L Clothing and $324.85 at The Level Collection. Apparently the latter store is highly prized, as the charge has been attempted at least 4 times.

$436.93 went to some sort of computer equipment... an external USB drive, as best I can determine.

It's possible that some of these items are meant as a gift, as our shopper then attempted to pay UPS $238.51 to ship a package. Of course, it's best to call and tell the recipient the box is coming. No phone? No worries... Boost Mobile was happy to set up cellular service for $221.38.

And finally, $60.85 spent at (I'm not making this up) Padlocks4Less.

FifthThird's fraud department is going to have a very busy week.